One day

Some times I am moody, my moods can be quite extreme, but that’s ok. I am not perfect, but flawed enough to be right  person for me today.

Some-days are easier that others to remember what I am working towards, But that’s ok. It reminds me to appreciate the good days more even if that day is not today.

One day I will look back on these days and be grateful for every lesson I learned, every set back that was put there to test my commitment and every person that came then went in my life. Because today each thing that has happened has happened for a reason I may only ever understand tomorrow.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Yesterday I learned by making mistakes,

Yesterday I stumbled a little.

Today I hand over  My troubles and share the load,

Today I count up my blessings and remember I am loved.

Tomorrow will shine a new day  fresh with new beginnings,

Tomorrow will be the perfect time to reach for my dreams.

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For yesterday I learned, today I am alive and tomorrow is filled with possibilities

 

 

 

Breathe in the friendship

Walk into my garden and feel the earth ground you.

Walk into my garden and breathe in the scent.

Walk into my garden feel your stresses leave you.

Walk into my garden and breathe for your soul.

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Come into my Home and feel the earth ground you.

Come into my home and breathe in the scent.

Come into my home feel your stresses leave You.

Come into my home and breathe for your soul.

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Take My friendship and feel it ground you.

Take my Friendship and breathe in the love.

Take my friendship and let me share your burden.

Welcome to my home and take in the friendship.

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Time to start

Things have been very hectic the past year. I think it may of always been hectic. It’s just each year  seems to  speed up that little more. The older we get the busier we seem to be making sure we are going to be ok in our twilight years. Most of the time I am happy to just keep my head down and focus on what is in front of me. Sometimes though  I get to a point where I feel I am about to be enveloped. Some days I wonder where to even start. That’s where I have been of late.

Its not that there is a whole lot of stress around lately. Well not stress like we used to have. It’s more a physical stress these days. The body ain’t what she used to be. My will power to say no to food is  most definitely what she used to be though.

Lately I have found myself being the proverbial dog chasing his own tail. Today it is time to begin again. Time to start again and get back on the right path. I have to work yes and sometimes it gets very chaotic. It means I am sore and tired when I finish, So  that means  when I come home I need it to be a sanctuary of calmness.  That means its time to de clutter again.

I am definitely better at this  than I used to be. Once upon a time  there were piles around the house in special corners filled with things I might find a use for. Usually I ended up making another pile as well. Things that were broken but might still have a use as something else. I am the queen of up-cycling and re-using  in my own mind.

I wonder sometimes if that came as my own body began to break down. Perhaps I needed to see that broken things still had an important part to play in the home. Or perhaps I was just a terrible hoarder.

Today I look around and I see a couple of boxes that need to be taken back down to the shed from Christmas  I just haven’t be bothered to  go down there, cause I remember when I went to go get these boxes I pulled out a bunch of other boxes and I know I need to go sort them out as well. I see the top of that new  buffet style cupboard I bought  for the front doorway to keep everything in and out of sight, full of  all the things that should be inside the cupboard.

Clutter often is a sign showing me where my mind is at as well. Depression has been rearing its ugly head lately.  Part and parcels of the overwhelms I guess The overwhelms is what I call my  fibro fogged brain. They are just a few of the joyful  things to live with when you have Fybromyalgia means its just  another thing to learn to live with and  something I am going to learn to live with, with some sort of grace. Right now though just new to all the information available my main concern is holding my head above water.

So  simplify, how do I go about simplifying life? 

Bills still need to be paid. Kids still need to be cared for. Husbands still need to know they are important to you. Oh and that pesky thing called housework will not magically do itself no matter how much you hum the fantasia tunes and order your mop to clean.

Well for starters. Its time to get on out in the  garden and get back into  the practice of meditating each morning. I don’t meditate in the conventional way of doing so. My brain hasn’t learned to slow down enough for that yet. Instead I have started out slowly again. Just wondering around the garden feeling the plants, smelling the breeze and following my Breath. It usually knows the right place to stop.  Then I just stand there or sometimes sit and close my eyes. Taking in the sounds around me I  soak up the energy coming from the earth safe in the knowledge that it has been there for billions of years and supports my whole being. I concentrate on my breathing but soon it just becomes secondary to the feeling of energy pulsing through out my body.  Through my feet, up my legs I soon feel it in my fingers and cheeks. I allow myself to stay in that moment for as long as I need only coming out when I am ready.

So that’s where I am right now. Step 1 in simplifying my life. it hasnt solved any problems. I haven’t made any massive changes. I have simply stopped to smell the roses, allowing my mind the chance to catch up. and as always I am Following my Breath and letting it  lead me where I need to go.

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First day.

Aside

My first post on the first day of the year. Marking my commitment to a better way of life.
Why following my breath? Well because I began this time last year scaling down and simplifying my life. Learning to listen to my body. And learning to live with less and find I can still be happy. (In fact I have found more truly happy moments since living with less.) Because it is time for me to continue following my breath, go with what feels right for me. Right now, that is learning more about my chosen path. Living a Tao lifestyle.

What is Tao? Well to be honest I have been researching it for close to a year now and the more I read the more confused I was becoming. Each Tao site just seemed to confuse me more and more. Only recently I realized it was because I was looking for the answers outwardly and not listening to my own inner self.

You look up definitions of religions and they have a straightforward definition that clearly outlines what you need to do and how to go about following that religion. I had read on so many sites Tao is not a religion as such but more a spiritual way of life. The more I read about it the more I became convinced it was definitely the path I wanted to take, but I just couldn’t get my head around the fact that there were no clear rules. Their was no clear path. Just the path and the rules that were right for your own inner self and conscience.

Finally a week ago it clicked. Once I got past the whole it really isn’t a religion but a philosophy, a way of life.that if I really did still need to have a deity I still could choose one or several to look at for comfort. I felt a little more at peace with my decision.

Once I got past the fact that just because I am beginning on the path of enlightenment, doesn’t mean some days I am not crabby, or that somedays I am feeling a little less charitable. It took years and years of learning through study and through life experiences for Tao masters to be just that..masters. What makes me think I will just wake up one day and be this serene soul, able to let go of past hurts and conceptions just like that? Isn’t it a little arrogant of me to believe that just because I have decided on the right path for me, it will all just land in my lap.

So what does Taoism mean to me? I still don’t fully grasp the Tao definition, but right now, today For me It simply means a simpler life. Realizing there is good and bad in our lives to keep balance not because we have been bad or evil and deserve things to happen. It means there is no true right or wrong, just right for me. It means all those hurts are life lessons and stepping stones to the me I have become and the person I wish to become. It means I don’t necessarily need a deity, or if I choose I can have several to follow and which ever way I choose to go, if it is right for me that does not make me a bad or even a better person.

Like I said this is the definition as I see it today. I am just beginning my journey. I can’t see my self at this point giving up all of my luxuries…what would be the point. To show others I am above such things? How would that Put me on the path? Besides I like to have the odd glass of wine. I enjoy spending time on my computer and I feel good when I buy the odd nice thing for myself. At the moment I don’t believe you need to give up things that make you feel good as long as they aren’t a crutch to make you feel good about yourself.

Well I guess that’s my long winded way of saying welcome to my blog. I must tell you I am not anti Christian nor am I saying if you follow Islam you are bad. If your faith gives you comfort and makes sense in your life then nothing anyone says will ever sway that. Just as if you truly believe you are on the right path for yourself, no one else’s faiths will be of concern to you. All I ask is if you chose to follow this blog, please realize I will not accept anything other than respect to myself, to others and especially to yourself.
Be true to yourself and your path will always be right for you.