Things have been very hectic the past year. I think it may of always been hectic. It’s just each year seems to speed up that little more. The older we get the busier we seem to be making sure we are going to be ok in our twilight years. Most of the time I am happy to just keep my head down and focus on what is in front of me. Sometimes though I get to a point where I feel I am about to be enveloped. Some days I wonder where to even start. That’s where I have been of late.
Its not that there is a whole lot of stress around lately. Well not stress like we used to have. It’s more a physical stress these days. The body ain’t what she used to be. My will power to say no to food is most definitely what she used to be though.
Lately I have found myself being the proverbial dog chasing his own tail. Today it is time to begin again. Time to start again and get back on the right path. I have to work yes and sometimes it gets very chaotic. It means I am sore and tired when I finish, So that means when I come home I need it to be a sanctuary of calmness. That means its time to de clutter again.
I am definitely better at this than I used to be. Once upon a time there were piles around the house in special corners filled with things I might find a use for. Usually I ended up making another pile as well. Things that were broken but might still have a use as something else. I am the queen of up-cycling and re-using in my own mind.
I wonder sometimes if that came as my own body began to break down. Perhaps I needed to see that broken things still had an important part to play in the home. Or perhaps I was just a terrible hoarder.
Today I look around and I see a couple of boxes that need to be taken back down to the shed from Christmas I just haven’t be bothered to go down there, cause I remember when I went to go get these boxes I pulled out a bunch of other boxes and I know I need to go sort them out as well. I see the top of that new buffet style cupboard I bought for the front doorway to keep everything in and out of sight, full of all the things that should be inside the cupboard.
Clutter often is a sign showing me where my mind is at as well. Depression has been rearing its ugly head lately. Part and parcels of the overwhelms I guess The overwhelms is what I call my fibro fogged brain. They are just a few of the joyful things to live with when you have Fybromyalgia means its just another thing to learn to live with and something I am going to learn to live with, with some sort of grace. Right now though just new to all the information available my main concern is holding my head above water.
So simplify, how do I go about simplifying life?
Bills still need to be paid. Kids still need to be cared for. Husbands still need to know they are important to you. Oh and that pesky thing called housework will not magically do itself no matter how much you hum the fantasia tunes and order your mop to clean.
Well for starters. Its time to get on out in the garden and get back into the practice of meditating each morning. I don’t meditate in the conventional way of doing so. My brain hasn’t learned to slow down enough for that yet. Instead I have started out slowly again. Just wondering around the garden feeling the plants, smelling the breeze and following my Breath. It usually knows the right place to stop. Then I just stand there or sometimes sit and close my eyes. Taking in the sounds around me I soak up the energy coming from the earth safe in the knowledge that it has been there for billions of years and supports my whole being. I concentrate on my breathing but soon it just becomes secondary to the feeling of energy pulsing through out my body. Through my feet, up my legs I soon feel it in my fingers and cheeks. I allow myself to stay in that moment for as long as I need only coming out when I am ready.
So that’s where I am right now. Step 1 in simplifying my life. it hasnt solved any problems. I haven’t made any massive changes. I have simply stopped to smell the roses, allowing my mind the chance to catch up. and as always I am Following my Breath and letting it lead me where I need to go.